Instantly acquire all the dark arts you need to survive in the most duplicitous, treacherous, and downright enjoyable profession in the business. Never again confuse leverage with loyalty, propagandism with publicity, and corporate social responsibility with a lucrative account representing a murderous but hugely wealthy Central Asian dictator.
Bask in the admiration of your fellow communications professionals as you pronounce confidently on what to do when horsemeat is discovered in the client’s ‘basics’ range of lasagne, or a fire breaks out in their fireproof goods factory, or a wildly politically incorrect utterance is made by a senior member of the board. Discover why there is a curious prevalence of attractive young women in PR consultancies in stark contrast to the curious prevalence of rheumy-eyed elderly men in in-house roles. And if you learn one thing from this book make sure it is the importance of always retaining an external consultancy to do most of the actual work and take 100% of the blame.
DO SAY: ‘This has been a watershed year for your company. Since you engaged us ACME plc is now universally recognised as a phenomenally successful, sustainable, socially responsible yet curiously undervalued investment opportunity.’
‘DON’T SAY: ‘PR is perhaps the only occupation in which bluffing skills are absolutely paramount.’
Author: Keith Hann has been working in PR for 35 years, during which time he has been a director, managing director and deputy chairman of London-based financial PR consultancies, founded his own consultancy, worked in-house as Director of Corporate Affairs at a leading national supermarket chain and starred in a TV reality documentary (Life in the Freezer Cabinet, BBC2, 2013). Decades of skilful bluffing brought him to the brink of retirement without any lasting romantic entanglements, until a momentary lapse of concentration one evening at Covent Garden led to his marriage at the age of 54, and the subsequent arrival of two children. He currently devotes most of his time to selling frozen food, not writing a novel and staring forlornly at his bank statements.